Your Brother is Taking Your (Parent’s) Money

  My grandmother used to counsel her friends with young children by sharing the phrase “Small children, small problems; big children, big problems…”   Some siblings work a lot, take pride in their independence, and save their hard-earned money. And some siblings have bad luck, are victims of financial predators or our legal system (divorce, criminal “justice” matters, etc.), or they may just be lazy. While the stars perfectly aligned for the former children, the latter child gets stuck in a perpetual rut, parents or other family members start financing his lifestyle, and sibling bitterness boils.   Down-on-their-luck children drain family assets, become increasingly disinterested in working, and cause fraternal discontent and animosity. Parental assets that could one day pass

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What and When Should I Tell My Kids?

Parents who have gone through the estate planning process typically ask what information they should share with their children and when. The answer requires balancing many factors, but can be boiled down to a simple concept: Take responsibility and own up to your decisions, and don’t leave it to your kids to fight about it. First, if a child has been left out of a Will or is receiving less money than other siblings you may want to tell them so, and why. Clearly this is not a universal approach, but taking responsibility and informing them up-front allows the child to reconcile this fact. This will also help minimize your other children having to deal with the dispossessed child’s bitterness

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Your Prenup: How Your Family Law Attorney Betrayed You

If you have a prenuptial agreement, chances are that the family law attorney who represented you betrayed you and didn’t even realize it.   I often tell clients to get a prenup if they are getting married later in life, and insist my older clients pay for their child’s prenup. And soon thereafter, much to my dismay, I see yet another prenup that unintentionally-yet-completely screws my client if his or her spouse dies unexpectedly.   Prenups serve one vital purpose: “Split Money.” There is usually a financial disparity between the parties when the couple marries, so the wealthier spouse naturally wants to protect his or her money from the other spouse’s financial grasp after a short marriage. So the prenup

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Second Wives: Reapers of Sorrow, Destroyers of Family Wealth!

In a world where our assets are constantly under threat from usurious taxes, government largess, financial predators and rapacious offspring, there is still NO worse threat to intergenerational family wealth than a second wife.   People get married the first time for any one of a number of reasons: Family pressure, filling a void, the urge to have children, an inexplicable desire to emulate the lives of Al and Peg Bundy and passion.  But these first marriages often end, sometimes with children left in their wake, and are replaced by a second marriage based on love, devotion and emotional security.   In these second (or third) marriages, often one spouse tends to be significantly older and more financially secure than

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The Roadmap to Your Family Should be in Your Will

The cornerstone of Probate, leaving your estate to whomever you want, is almost paradoxical since the process is not as easy as most people think. To the great surprise of heirs that are listed in the Will, the decedent’s descendants (or next closest relatives) must be put on notice during the Probate process to validate the Will. The very concept of the requirement of placing the next of kin on notice is foreign to most clients: Why does a person’s nearest relative, who the Testator may have loathed, still have to be placed on notice of the Probate of the Will, even if that relative is being disinherited? The answer: Our estate laws allow your closest family members the right

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The Top 5 Things to Do When a Family Member is Terminally Ill

Watching a person’s last days of life is often a horrible, gut-wrenching process. The dying individual may or may not be able to communicate, and the trauma of seeing a loved one approaching their end makes it difficult for spectators to make decisive decisions. But no matter what the case, if you want to do what is best for your family, you must utilize the precious remaining days of your loved one’s life to take action on certain items, as these matters get much more difficult and stressful upon his or her passing. Figure Out Funeral Arrangements: May people have funeral plots or pre-paid burial arrangements, but these details are often not formally shared with family and friends beforehand. If the

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Increase Executor Commissions by Including Real Estate Transfers

You have a good deal of latitude structuring Executor’s commissions in a Will. There are many subtleties to default Executor commissions that apply if you don’t substitute them; in order to be fair to your Executor, one that you may want to modify relates to instructing your Executor to transfer real estate under the terms of your will.   In New York, Executor commissions are based on collecting and distributing property, primarily intangible investments. These commissions are easy to calculate, since investment assets are easy to price, transfer and sell. But the family home – typically the largest Probate asset – is not so easy to administer, and is not always commissionable.   If the real estate is sold as

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UTMA Accounts: The Good, Bad and Ugly

Uniform Transfer to Minors Act accounts allow a person to leave funds to a minor beneficiary without a court’s interference.  In general, minors are not legally able to own property. If a minor comes into possession of a bank or investment account or proceeds from a life insurance policy or retirement plan, a court may have to appoint a guardian over the property. UTMA accounts sidestep this requirement by naming a custodian over the funds: the custodian oversees and invests the funds until the minor turns 21 years old.   However, just because UTMAs avoid court oversight, does not mean they are devoid of other problems:   Poor Investment Decisions: A custodian who invests the funds poorly relies on state

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Naming Beneficiaries: When to Start (and Stop) Asking “What If?”

My mentor was a meticulous, forward-thinking attorney. When she retired from private practice I succeeded her and took over her client files. As a result, I had the pleasure of reading many of the wills she had drafted (not a recommended activity for narcoleptics who don’t want to fall asleep). She was absolutely scrupulous when it came to naming contingent beneficiaries to an estate. For some of her clients, and indeed for me too at times, it seemed like a maddening process.   Here is a common scenario: I imagine going to an attorney to draft my Will, create beneficiary designation forms, and consider creating a trust. Now comes the moment of truth: When I pass away, who gets what?

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When Should I Use or Avoid A Joint Trust?

A joint trust is a trust created during your lifetime, where both you and at least one other individual are the Grantors (creators). These are almost always “inter vivos” (created during your life, and not by a will upon your passing), and tend to be done by happily married spouses. While they tend to simplify most people’s estate plans by only having to deal with one document, joint trusts also have a time and a place when they should be avoided.   The most ideal time to utilize joint trusts is when the creators of the trust are (1) married, (2) want the same end-result for the funds, and (3) trust the surviving creator to control the funds when he/she

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