Living Issues Archives - Page 2 of 2

What and When Should I Tell My Kids?

Posted on September 5, 2017

Parents who have gone through the estate planning process typically ask what information they should share with their children and when. The answer requires balancing many factors, but can be boiled down to a simple concept: Take responsibility and own up to your decisions, and don’t leave it to your kids to fight about it. First, if a child has been left out of a Will or is receiving less money than other siblings you may want to tell them so, and why. Clearly this is not a universal approach, but taking responsibility and informing them up-front allows the child to reconcile this fact. This will also help minimize your other children having to deal with the dispossessed child’s bitterness

Your Prenup: How Your Family Law Attorney Betrayed You

Posted on July 26, 2017

If you have a prenuptial agreement, chances are that the family law attorney who represented you betrayed you and didn’t even realize it. I often tell clients to get a prenup if they are getting married later in life, and insist my older clients pay for their child’s prenup. And soon thereafter, much to my dismay, I see yet another prenup that unintentionally-yet-completely screws my client if his or her spouse dies unexpectedly. Prenups serve one vital purpose: “Split Money.” There is usually a financial disparity between the parties when the couple marries, so the wealthier spouse naturally wants to protect his or her money from the other spouse’s financial grasp after a short marriage. So the prenup

College Kids in Trouble! Draft Your Child’s Health Care Proxy

Posted on July 14, 2017

Ah, the Ivory Tower, where high school kids aspire to escape to, and parents best hope for 4 years of peace and quiet. But with independence comes responsibility: Travel, driving, concerts, and protests. And drinking. Lots of drinking. And then comes a horrible injury or hospital admittance, followed by a parental realization: You are not allowed access to your adult child’s health care information, and cannot make decisions regarding their health care. In most states, the age of majority is 18, and once he or she moves out of his or her parent’s residence they are considered an adult with all of the privacy rights that inure to adults. The only individual who, by default, has access to

Second Wives: Reapers of Sorrow, Destroyers of Family Wealth!

Posted on June 14, 2017

In a world where our assets are constantly under threat from usurious taxes, government largess, financial predators and rapacious offspring, there is still NO worse threat to intergenerational family wealth than a second wife. People get married the first time for any one of a number of reasons: Family pressure, filling a void, the urge to have children, an inexplicable desire to emulate the lives of Al and Peg Bundy and passion. But these first marriages often end, sometimes with children left in their wake, and are replaced by a second marriage based on love, devotion and emotional security. In these second (or third) marriages, often one spouse tends to be significantly older and more financially secure than

The Top 5 Things to Do When a Family Member is Terminally Ill

Posted on April 14, 2017

Watching a person’s last days of life is often a horrible, gut-wrenching process. The dying individual may or may not be able to communicate, and the trauma of seeing a loved one approaching their end makes it difficult for spectators to make decisive decisions. But no matter what the case, if you want to do what is best for your family, you must utilize the precious remaining days of your loved one’s life to take action on certain items, as these matters get much more difficult and stressful upon his or her passing. Figure Out Funeral Arrangements: May people have funeral plots or pre-paid burial arrangements, but these details are often not formally shared with family and friends beforehand. If the

Increase Executor Commissions by Including Real Estate Transfers

Posted on March 28, 2017

You have a good deal of latitude structuring Executor’s commissions in a Will. There are many subtleties to default Executor commissions that apply if you don’t substitute them; in order to be fair to your Executor, one that you may want to modify relates to instructing your Executor to transfer real estate under the terms of your will. In New York, Executor commissions are based on collecting and distributing property, primarily intangible investments. These commissions are easy to calculate, since investment assets are easy to price, transfer and sell. But the family home – typically the largest Probate asset – is not so easy to administer, and is not always commissionable. If the real estate is sold as

Medicaid Pitfalls: Cash Value Life Insurance

Posted on March 10, 2017

Qualifying for Medicaid can be a pain in the neck: You can only qualify for benefits if you have a limited amount of assets and income. Yes, there are some exceptions, but in most cases there are financial limits. Unfortunately, people’s past investment decisions may severely impact their current eligibility. One of the worst former financial decisions for Medicaid planning is the limits placed on cash value life insurance. “Permanent” life insurance is meant to last until you reach age 95 or 100, then pay out to you or your beneficiary even if you are still alive. These policies allow you to invest extra money to the policy’s “cash value” so that as the annual cost of the insurance

Disinheriting Someone? Don’t Use a “Pour-Over” Will

Posted on January 13, 2017

You have a right to leave money to who you want to and, when you have a will, can leave it to those you want: It is not uncommon to disinherit a family member who would otherwise receive an inheritance if no Will existed. However, your nearest family members (some of whom you may have disinherited) are required to receive a copy of the Will when you die. Clearly you do not want these disinherited people giving your choice of beneficiaries a hard time. Many people rightly resort to disinheriting an heir by bequeathing money using a Trust which has no requirement of placing such family members on legal notice. However, there is one regularly-used shortcut that can defeat your

Leaving the Right Gift to the Right Person

Posted on September 30, 2016

I meet several clients who, upon death, want to automatically give their daughters their jewelry and split their remaining property equally between their children. This is also the default position suggested by general practitioner attorneys who will draft a two page Will for their lifetime client, and avoid the consultation time needed to truly understand their client’s desires. My experience suggests that serious consideration must be given to distributing the correct amount of property, and the right type of property, to each beneficiary. Most people leave property first to their spouse, then to their children equally – they have equated equally loving their children with bequeathing them equal amounts of property. It goes without saying that even in “healthy” families this may not be

How to Choose an Estate Planning Attorney

Posted on September 23, 2016

You may have some idea of how an Estate Planning Attorney can help you (Wills, Powers of Attorney, Health Care Proxies, Trusts), but may not know how to choose one. In addition to the questions you would ask any service professional, here are some thoughts and questions you may want to consider prior to signing a Retainer Agreement with the attorney, who will help you establish your estate plan: EXPERTISE: Does the attorney primarily practice New York estate planning, or are they a general practitioner licensed in multiple states? If your estate planning needs are relatively simple (minimal assets, you are married in a first marriage without kids, no disabled relatives) a general practitioner may suffice. However, I have also seen some horrible Wills drafted by

Simple Dos and Don’ts of Gifting for College Education

Posted on August 1, 2016

Higher education is usuriously expensive. The fact that a child’s education may cost as much as you paid for your first house should highlight the importance of gifting these funds in the correct way. You can pay an unlimited amount of money for a child’s education expenses, provided you pay the money directly to the educational institution. Qualified education expenses are looked at as a benefit to public policy, and therefore do not require the donor to fill in a gift tax return. The funds are also not deducted from your lifetime gift tax exemption, meaning you can continue to gift additional funds without having to assess a tax. Paying a child back for their student loan payments

Why ITF & TOD Accounts Are (Sometimes) Worse Ways of Transferring Assets than Using a Will

Posted on August 24, 2015

If you read my blogpost dated August 8th, 2015 you saw my argument stating that “In Trust For” and “Transfer on Death” accounts are better ways of transferring your assets than using a will because these transfers are accomplished quickly, free of legal expenses, and are not public information. Transferring assets by probating a will, on the other hand, is not immediate, which assesses court filing fees and legal costs, and makes it a public affair. But I only told you one side of the story… There are several instances in which transferring assets by probating your will may be preferable, especially when utilizing a “Testamentary Trust” in your Last Will and Testament. While I can appreciate that the following

When to Begin Medicaid Planning

Posted on August 17, 2015

I have several prospective clients approach me to discuss Medicaid planning. They have typically just finished handling their own parent’s age-related issues (dementia, Parkinson’s Disease, etc.), and want their younger relatives to avoid the same kind of emotional turmoil and financial commitments when they age. Medicaid compliance requires a person to relinquish either assets or control over those assets, but many people in their 60s are just not ready to part with either of these. A large percentage of these individuals are not even retired and have yet to enjoy the best years of their lives in which they have the physical, mental, and emotional capacity to enjoy their free time. In many cases, their knee-jerk response is based on

Cain and Abel: When Siblings Despise Each Other

Posted on July 17, 2015

There are no perfect families. Even the first biblical family had an extreme sibling rivalry (with some rather bad results). And while most of us don’t have to worry about such an extreme outcome, many parents do worry that their children will not play well in the estate sandbox as their parents age and pass away. The worries: One child helps mom and dad as they age, is given a lot of money prior to and after their passing, and the other child brings a lawsuit for absconding with the money that they feel is one half theirs. One child helps mom and dad as they age, is given the same amount of money as the child who did nothing,

Smart Ideas for Making Your Agents Known (When Needed)

Posted on June 27, 2015

Too many attorneys make the mistake of not informing a person’s Power of Attorney, Health Care Agent or Executor that he/she has been named as a person’s agent or, even worse, not telling a client how to inform these people of their responsibilities. These practitioners appear to have the attitude of “I’ve been paid, you have your legal documents, let’s both move onto the next thing in our lives.” While this does not rise to the level of legal malpractice, it certainly is inconsiderate and potentially dangerous: These documents are not public record. If there is an emergency, how is a Health Care Agent going to be identified by the admitting health care facility? The documents may be hard to

You Are Not Entitled to Medicaid

Posted on June 1, 2015

I meet a lot of procrastinators. People who wait too long to deal with a serious issue, then figure they can fix it just by coming to an attorney. The best example is Medicaid Planning: Maybe a person wants to preserve their assets, but does not want to give up control and does not trust their children to have control. Or he wants to see what the future holds and then…and…and….. …And then “the event” that finally requires wealth preservation happens and no steps have been taken. The client has held onto their assets for too long and then has a stroke, or quick onset of dementia, maybe Parkinson’s develops, and the client is now in a rush to become

“There’s No Place Like (the Nursing) Home…” Avoiding the Trip from Kansas to Oz

Posted on March 24, 2015

Many of us remember Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz saying “There’s no place like home.” And it’s true. Whether we own or rent the premises in which we reside, the one place we hold as sacred is the one we relax and sleep in: Home. No client wants to be swept away in the tornado that is a Nursing Home. Elder Law attorneys try to smooth over the term by calling it an “institution”, a chilling word which is (shockingly) not that much more comforting. Either term instantly invokes the thoughts of bad smells, confused or infirmed individuals, bad food, hospital beds, and misery before death. Truth be told, the “best” nursing homes I have seen are not places

Doing Separate Finances Right

Posted on November 17, 2014

Today, more spouses and unmarried cohabitants maintain separate finances. This is probably due to a number of factors, including increased salaries for women and an increase in second marriages and relationships with children from a previous relationship. While these arrangements may work amongst couples during life, they present significant estate planning challenges upon the death of one or the other. How much should the surviving partner get (which could conceivably be left to a future partner) and how much should the children get (to the detriment of the partner)? There is no easy answer. The majority of clients in this position have very concrete opinions about what they want, which makes my life far easier: I’m not a fan of

“Estates a la Carte”: Restaurant Owners – A 3 Course Catastrophe

Posted on November 17, 2014

One of the more-challenging clients for estate planners is restaurant owners. While owning a restaurant is difficult enough during life, the problems that face these professionals at death are equally complex, time consuming and expensive. First, Appetizers: Most restaurant owners spend most of their money on additional restaurants. This creates a major problem with estate liquidity, particularly if they happen to own the real estate where their dining establishments are located (typically in high-tax areas). Otherwise, the establishment is locking into a long-term lease to which the lessor has the right to pursue rent for the remaining term of the lease against the deceased owner’s estate. In either case, substantial cash funds may be needed but are not available. Next,

“The Doctor is Out”: Medical Practices & Unexpected Death

Posted on November 17, 2014

Modern day medical doctors face a myriad of challenges: Lawsuits, hardships with creating referrals and collecting payments from third-parties (insurance companies and Medicare), onerous requirements of the Affordable Care Act and patient records, and the like. So just when we think the logical conclusion of these hardships would occur (death) we find out just how hard it truly is to be a doctor. A doctor has a requirement to maintain patient records for several years. This requirement does not end at the time of their passing. While today’s insurance environment and staff requirements have effectively made solo practitioners a dying bread, even a small group of doctors may not be prepared to process all of the records of their departed

How to (and Should I?) Place My Cooperative Apartment in a Trust

Posted on September 25, 2014

Buying (and living in) a Coop can be a pain: Coop Boards dictate whether you can have pets, children tenants, hard wood floors, and when you pay increased maintenance and “special assessments.” They also decide whether or not you can place your Coop “In Trust,” thereby avoiding it passing through Probate via your Will when you pass away. First, the Coop’s legal counsel will want to review your Trust, often for about the cost you paid to draft it. They may require modifications and ask your beneficiaries to assume any future liabilities that may be assessed. You will then need to transfer the Coop shares for an additional cost, and produce your original Shares Certificate and Proprietary Lease (or otherwise