When Bill Met Jordan: Does Dad Really Need Protection From Himself?
It sounds like the most exhausting romcom script a Hollywood agent has to read since the script where Adam Sandler tried to date Jennifer Aniston for a seventh movie: Aging, successful NFL coach is on a flight, sits next to college cheerleader, orders her a Cherry Mojito, and every category of “journalist” gets a seat at the dinner table. Cheerleader (starring Jordan Hudson) starts dressing scantily and acting like a boss, Coach (played by Bill I’m-Still-Pinching-Myself Belichick) is allowed to visit her dorm room and stream Netflix and stuff. Tabloids and families shriek “Dad is falling under the spell of Young Girl,” Young Girl exerts more influence, buys a pizza with Dad’s money, family intercedes, drama, lawsuits, guardianships, and finally a reality show and perfume lines before the closing credits.
But in our straight-to-Hulu docudrama, is Jordan actually the villain? Is it possible Bill is fully aware of what he is doing? Nothing freaks out an ex-spouse and children like Dad using his money on a Cialis binge rather than saving it for his kids. But which Baby Boomer doesn’t want a person 1/3rd their age wearing a string bikini and grasping onto them like a life raft in a hurricane? So don’t think Dad is so dumb, he may know exactly what he is doing, and he may have enough wits to make knowledgeable decisions regarding his money and newfound companion.
It all comes down to: When should the family intercede.
Get involved immediately when:
- Dad has never met this special someone he sends money to à Have him sign a Power of Attorney and have yourself (as Agent) get text alerts of large cash transfers to avoid him delivering up all the family jewels.
- The person is looking for immigration status or claims familial relationship à Convince Dad that a background check must be performed. Detecting ulterior motives may be easy for Dad to miss in the face of attention and adoration.
- The couple has arguments, or there is no actual or feigned affection à Lying about having feelings for another person for a prolong period is exhausting, and frustration will manifest in nasty statements and behaviors. Heated arguments or neighbors’ stories about hearing yelling by either party is a sign that someone is being pushed around.
- Beneficiaries on all accounts have been changed à Dad shouldn’t have completely forgotten about his family, even if he is dating Cleopatra. Beware of the partner’s family members being named as contingent beneficiaries, that’s typically a strong sign of undue influence.
Be cautious when:
- Beneficiaries on some accounts are being changed à Be honest: You don’t expect Marla the 25-year-old masseuse to be giving grandpa a massage for free. Expect there to be some trade-off between the parties, we call that a “Relationship,” even when money is involved.
- Access to Dad Starts Being Limited à Good con artists know how to take their time and gradually remove Dad from your presence and future intervention.
- Partner Gets Involved With Dad’s Financial / Business Affairs à This one is tricky. Example: I don’t think Bill Belichick doesn’t know Jordan Hudson’s hijinks is affecting his finances, I’m assuming things have not reached the point where he cares yet: The guy has a multi-year contract at UNC, and is probably less interested in nailing down a streaming series and book deal than winning 17 National Titles. It may be fair to say he is “accommodating” and not “whipped,” so be cautious in trying to exert control at the first sign of joint control.
Don’t Intercede when:
- Dad clearly knows what he is doing à If you try to bring a guardianship or call the police just because Dad is leaving his partner some of his assets you are looking for trouble: Mentally competent people could completely disinherit you, so tread cautiously and try to “make nice” with everyone.
We all know that people get lonely. And there are some things a companion can do that a family member cannot (and should never ever) do. If your family member’s partner is taking care of them, you should expect there to be some financial trade-offs, because it’s likely you don’t want to do a lot of this work yourself and would need to pay someone else to do it anyway. Knowing when to get involved is not always easy, and going all-in by relying on the Courts requires the right timing under the right circumstances. So don’t assume Bill is dumb, but make sure to act when he does lose his ability to make up his own mind.
